Why do I always have to like someone but torture myself to be just FRIENDS with him?
Why do I sacrifice a lot to make him happy and loses myself in the process?
How do I let myself think of him every moment in every single day of my life when I know I do not even cross his mind?
Why am I so stupid when all I ever wanted is to find LOVE?
I will not be seeing him for the following months. Leaving breaks my heart. But it is beyond my control, I did not even plan it. I was determined to stay though I know he does not even care if I did. That is quite disappointing to accept in my heart but reality hurts.
He chatted, I replied. But that was all. He said thanks, I said thanks in response. End of conversation. Dead end of my love story. Shattered my broken heart.
I want to say that I love him. Because I still hold the slightest dream and hope that maybe we are possible to be together. I thought I saw a possibility. But I was wrong. I just saw what I wanted to see.
I just hate this feeling. It makes me feel uncomfortable. I hate to go back cause I know he is not waiting for me. I refuse to think of him again but my mind wanders in the memories I kept about him in my heart and unconsciously, I am going back to where I was before. Dreaming of that small possibility that maybe, just maybe, we are meant to be. :'c
